Hi,
Thanks for reading my question. I have 2 problems, although my friends tell me I am lucky. My fiance orgasm's very easily. She can orgasm by giving me fellatio without touching herself. The problem is, when we do the whole foreplay thing, oral between us she has orgasmed several times and when it comes time for up to have intercourse, she is worn out and practically passing out. As a matter of fact she has passed out with me on top of her. Don't get me wrong, its great sex when she is having this orgasm and her movements make me orgasm. I am wondering if this is healthy ?
My second problem is related to her orgasms. Her first orgasm is a squirter. I have heard of this before but never experienced it.
We have been together for just over one year and we are both very open and will try any suggestions you may have..
Thanks |
The only problem I can see here is the fact that your friends may have a little too much information about your girlfriend's orgasms. As for the other "problems"..Maybe your girlfriend is exhausted from so much fellatio. Perhaps you should try giving her a little! If she is so hot and orgasms as easily as thinking about it...then maybe you should "get in there" a little sooner and give her a bit of a reprieve from getting you up to speed. Doesn't sound like she is the problem...sounds like you may be a little slow or or enjoying a little too much. Sounds like she is a pretty self-satisfying unit. Squirting? Since when is squirting a problem? Why not ask your girlfriend how she has dealt with being confronted with squriting orgasms. |
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Hi,
I have a problem with girls, specially with those I like: I cannot get them to be my girlfriends. Either I'm too proud (friends tell me this) or too direct or too slow. My guess is that I can't gather enough self-confidence. Now it's 2 years and I'm starting to look girls as something for other people: definitely not for me. What should I do?
Thank you |
| Well, you seem to have answered your own question. Lack of confidence is the kiss of death to potentially anything! I think that you need to look at things from a reverse angle. Forget about getting girls to be your girlfriend. Start to think about enjoying yourself, being yourself (proud, direct and slow) and feeling good about yourself. Don't stack yourself up next to all of the guys who always get all of the girls and don't try to figure out why all the girls go for good looking idiots who treat them badly. These are all esoteric musings. Build from the inside out. Build your castle on a solid and very personal foundation. Then select your guests and invite them in as you choose instead of holding a bash and hoping that someone will stay after the party. Don't focus on confidence with girls. Focus on confidence in yourself and the girls will follow! |
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Dear Ace,
I've been going out with this girl now for about 2 and a half months. The thing is I'm kind of in the spot light here because she's a really good looking girl and popular, I'm very lucky. Just before she went out with me she was in a very serious relationship which lasted 10 months, only this bloke was a bit of a player. They had a sexual relationship, she told me, which means I guess she's 'up for it'. So am I, don't get me wrong, 2 and a half months is a long time and we haven't yet made love. I know she wants to sleep with me - the signs are obvious but I know she won't make the first move. She was so used to her old boyfriend who would simply say 'fancy a quicky', I can't do that. Please help me try to find a way to get her to tell me what she wants or how can I talk to her about sex. I really love her and I think the relationship will last a long time. In the nicest possible way - how can I get her into bed? I'm not a creep, I know it's what she wants and I do too. |
Dear Sir,
My secret method of detecting whether my partner is interested in sleeping with me has always been to say to them "I want to make love to you." (I don't say "I want to fuck you" nor do I say "I want to do you, screw you or anything else you." I say 'make love'. It's a matter of semantics!!) That usually cuts to it and is also acknowledged as honest and sincere....which it always is ....as I don't say that to just anyone! Your girlfriend, more than likely, is not going to be announcing that to you quite so directly. However, you could announce it to her, quietly, privately and tenderly. She has obviously been around the track at least once so she's familiar with the drill! Women like being told they are desired, loved and appreciated. Perhaps you might ask her if you could make love to her. What a novel idea in this day and age...a man who asks first. Very sexy of you......and would be the nicest possible way to get her into bed! She will have the opportunity to answer as honestly... |
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| There is a girl that I like and I have asked her out but she said no. Then I found out that she is sleeping with another guy but all it is is about sex. Every time I talk to her it is never 'yea Tim took me out to the movies' or 'Tim took me to dinner'. It is only 'me and Tim had fun last night' and I really like this girl. What should I do? |
| Do nothing. Tim will do it! It doesn't sound like he is interested in taking her out or being a 'couple' with her. He may just be interested in the heat of the moment and having a good time. Once that gets old then he will move on... She will be hurt and devastated (because all this time she thought it was 'love') and she will be confused. She will also be available and, hopefully, a little smarter...although sometimes it takes a few of those before a woman catches on that great sex is not 'love'. If you really like her, wait it out. Be there to pick up the pieces and maybe she will date you and hold off on sleeping with you.....that could be a good sign and, besides, the chase is so much more fun! |
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Hi,
I was wondering if you could help me cause I've been with my girl friend 3 months and we have not had sex because I worried I will not please her in that way. What could I do to try and increase the chance of me pleasing her?
love,
the Booogiman |
| Well, Booogiman...You never know until you try! She might think you are the best thing since sliced bread...how do you know? Unless there is something hindering your ability, your potential performance or your health which gives you reason to presume your chances of pleasing her are slim, and provided she is not under age (which is a real good reason to worry about who might be pleased or displeased) then you've got to give it a go. Women are generally pretty forgiving of the first time with a new partner. They are usually there because they like you enough to have sex with you and you mean something to them. Most won't use this first time as protocol for the future . If she is not pleased then SHE is the best person to ask for advice about improving the experience! Everyone likes things customized. You will not find a better teacher or advisor than your lover. Talking about what works or doesn't work can be a real turn on. Any time you can increase your communication with your partner about sex your chances of mutual pleasure are increased, comfort and trust levels are elevated (important to your female partner!!) and you may go places you've never been before. |
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| I'M SURE THIS IS A POPULAR QUESTION BUT IS THERE ANY TRUE WAY TO ENLARGE YOUR PENIS PERMANENTLY WITHOUT SURGERY? I'VE SEEN PUMPS, PILLS & DIFFERENT WAYS THEY SAY YOU CAN EXERCISE IT. I WOULD BE GRATEFUL TO KNOW IF ANY OF THESE WAYS MIGHT WORK. THANKS |
Dear Sir,
Forget it. The only thing you can grow with pills is more hair...and it won't necessarily be growing on your head! Certainly you can have extremely dangerous, unreliable and expensive surgery or you can bring a pump to bed but none of it is going to change the facts. You've got what you've got...the art will be in learning how to use it and all of your other fabulous assets to their utmost level of skill and finesse! As an FTM transsexual friend of mine says "There's more to it than just the old in and out!" Pump yourself up by exercising your sexual prowess! |
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| I have a wonderful gentleman in my life that does everything possible to satisfy me. The only problem is...... his penis is too small. I sell sex toys so I know the possibilities as far as extentions and so forth are concerned. My question is... how do I get satisfied. Do I tell this man that his penis is too small and risk damaging his male ego? Do I just start whipping out the extensions and growth pills? Do I start using my toys in his presence and hope he'll understand? By the way the toys intimidate him. Do I just tell him that I prefer a man with a 10" penis and he falls approximately 6" short??? I truly love this man but sex is a serious matter to me and I just am not feeling it??? His penis that is. |
Dear Not Feeling It,
If you aren't satisfied you have to tell him. You don't have to blatantly blow him out of the water and damage his male ego but you have to have the conversation. The penis is literally the most central point in most men's universe and they are well aware of the reaction it stirs. If he has been with other women then he is already well aware of the reality. I would bet it will not come as a total surprise to him. A discussion like this is not easy...but it is necessary and only fair that he know that you are not satisfied. The good news is that you are into exploring ways to resolve the problem...and you are open to discussing them. Together, the two of you can talk about some solutions, whether they include sex toys, new positions, more aggressive moves, oral sex, anal sex....you have some options to enhance the situation but it is going to take communication, acceptance, and creativity from both of you. If he cannot handle that then THAT is his disability.
Be aware that you are not breaking any news to him. You are only addressing a problem which could very well have a solution if he can handle it. Of course it will hurt his ego and he will not be too pleased to hear you noticed his size but a good relationship is worth the risk (and sometimes the humiliation)... hopefully he will choose to participate in resolving the problem. His intimidation around sex toys may stem from his insecurity about his size...(the idea of toys doing what he cannot!) But...toys could be part of the answer, especially since you are comfortable with them.
The bottom line is that physical compatibility is certainly an important issue in a relationship. If your physical differences are not too extreme and you are both willing to come to the plate, then you just might find sexual happiness together. |
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